muffingomoo:

brain-splosion:

When my dad hears I’m on my period, he locks himself in his study and texts me that he will get me ANYTHING I WANT, and to just ask.

He got me a laptop the first time I got my period. As the blood trickles from my uterus, as does the power trickle through my veins.

Oh my god.

75,103 notes

hitoml:

judge in court: everything u say will be held against u
me: boobs
jury: haha
lawyer: haha
judge: haha case dismissed

(Source: pitouzone)

125,851 notes

foxgrl:

miruinnuial:

foxgrl:

I wish none of you were sad

I wish there was peace and justice and wealth and happiness and good people around all of the planet

try and one up me again bitch

966,124 notes

warranty:

5-v:

EVERYONE NEEDS THIS ON THEIR BLOG.

DYING RIGHT NOW

(Source: dvnnyj)

360,520 notes

3,676,155 plays

supremewhitegirl:

dendropsyche:

thenimbus:

bonbonbunny:

'What kind of overalls does Mario wear?'

image

Yep, I laughed out loud

I love the “oh no” like he fucking knows he’s going to hear a shitty ass joke

this is the stupidest fucking joke in the world but i laugh every fucking time without fail

(Source: youtube.com)

531,712 notes

shouldnt:

How in the fuck…

86,529 notes

egg-rolls:

one time i got a sample from the tea store at the mall and as i walked away the guy said “tea you later” and then his coworker smacked him

633,959 notes